It takes effort to keep romance and excitement alive in even the best relationships. Otherwise, you may feel more like roommates than romantic partners. When that happens, sex and intimacy die down, the excitement fades, and people often feel that something is missing in their relationship, despite loving them.
Having a comfortable relationship with your partner may be enjoyable for both of you. You don’t need to dress up for each other or change into anything other than what you are together. It is amazing how comfortable this can feel! An important aspect of a relationship is feeling comfortable, safe, and accepted. However, it’s also important to believe from time to time that your partner needs to be impressed and romanced as well. Rather than just feeling love for each other, you can stay “in love” in your relationship when you foster romance. Long-term relationships are built on feelings of being in love.
The following tips can help you keep your romance alive:
1. Have regular date nights
There’s nothing better than spending time alone with your partner, away from the kids, and whatever stresses you might be facing. Spend money on a babysitter, ask a family member or friend to watch the kids or walk the dog, and go on a date once a week. Creating space for slowing down and connecting without distractions requires time alone together. Don’t forget to put your cell phone away during the date.
2. Celebrate your relationship
Some people hate Valentine’s Day, but it’s a wonderful excuse to indulge in romance with your significant other. Now is the time to do something you would have done while dating! Whether you’ve done it before or not, now is the time to start. When Valentine’s Day isn’t your thing, take advantage of other opportunities to enjoy each other’s company. Date nights should not be the only time this is done. Having an exciting, romantic relationship begins with being exciting and romantic yourself.
3. Hold hands.
Holding hands promotes intimacy because it is skin-to-skin contact. The activity promotes physical connection as well as a romantic relationship.
4. Have sex.
Schedule sex if you need to. Scheduled sex is often resisted because people believe it “should” be spontaneous, but this isn’t realistic. Is there anything you do regularly in your life that you don’t schedule? Make it fun by scheduling it, anticipating it, and looking forward to it.
5. Prioritize your own self-care
Taking care of yourself is key to preventing problems from spilling over into your relationship and your partner. Consider seeing a therapist, exercising, meditating, and building strong relationships with other family and friends. You shouldn’t rely solely on your partner for happiness or solutions to your problems. Having a partner can be a great way to enjoy life, but if you don’t like yourself or your life, you need to work on yourself instead of expecting your significant other to fix everything for you. Putting that level of expectation on a partnership is not realistic.